sunshineley

Well, once I get my free requests from last year squared away, I think I'm going to be officially inactive. There's just not enough reward for my effort on here. I will still check my messages n stuff, just not often, and I'll pop in to check on some webcomics too, but that's about it.

Join my discord if you feel inclined, https://top.gg/servers/444034266066583553, I intend to upload my arts on there from now on (and maybe a different art website if I can ever find one).

Oh and I'm doing pretty decently on the mental health front, by the way; I'm learning what I ought to invest my energy in, and what I ought not. My art projects have taken a backseat because of it, and I'm focusing more on my animals and the few friends I endeavor to keep.

Stay safe, people of dA; take care of each other, and take care of yourselves.

March 15th: Mmmkay, all done here .3. hope y'all like.

Dec 14th: Please give me something interesting to work with.

Dec 2nd: Hullo hullo 'tis I, Seenshinleeeeeeee, behold I am alive (life update at bottom of post if interested) o3o December is upon us once again, and I shall be doing free art requests!

RULES

You must comment on this journal before Dec 31st 2020 to request something

Humans, animals, anthros, floppy noodles, all are welcome

Mythology, fandoms, and original characters are welcome too

You must have permission from the original artist if the OC/species is not yours

No mature themes, no vulgarity, no fetish stuff, and nothing against dA TOS

Requests will be done in pencil and pen with limited marker/color

Pictures will be photographed and uploaded when finished, then I shall send you the link

I have the right to decline any request

No whinerbabies allowed

EXAMPLES

(oof x.x I can't make these small thumbnails, prepare for image crowding, ugh)

SLOTS

01) MASX37 🌼

02) DarkCavaliere 🌼

03) xXSW4GM0N5T3RXx 🌼

04) LeFunShark 🌼

05) LaReforma1857 🌼

06) Prentis-65 🌼

07) Aliana-chan 🌼

08) wildewomen19 🌼

09) Azelf-S 🌼

10) KaitlynnNicole 🌼

11) ooMormunaoo 🌼

12) DankakaTheCat 🌼

13) Rochi277 🌼

14) Thehalfbloodprince 🌼

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

LIFE UPDATE

Whew, that's a lot of words; I guess I may have some more in me. If you've made it this far, either you're bored/confused or actually interested in what I have to say, so I'll try to be straightforward.

To get it out of the way, I'm not sick, I'm in a stable situation and home, and I am safe.. but I am depressed.

Regardless, there are a few answers as to why I haven't said anything on here since July: Eclipse is super annoying and not conducive to my process, I have been focusing on my mental health a lot, and I've been playing Minecraft as a creative outlet so there aren't any drawings to upload. Not to mention that I've always been uncomfortable with the social media mindset where you have to show off, get noticed, or be otherwise loud in order to feel fulfilled in your online presence.

I guess the main reason that I haven't been here is because, well, I don't have any reason to be.

I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to make myself care, I don't know how to make reasons where I can't see any. I don't know how to stop being depressed and apathetic.

Now, I'm not looking for sympathy, sympathy makes me feel icky so shut your trap and keep it to yourself, but I'm not really looking for empathy either; I'm trying to find understanding and connection.

Understand that I am a person, one who is flawed and struggling, accepting in her own depression and doing her best with what she has right now. Connect with me, don't just talk at me and comment to say oh yeah me too buddy, talk with me, be with me, see me.

....

Well.. I've been disappointed too many times by people to actually expect anything to come out of this journal entry. So back to the art requests.

Join my discord if you wanna, https://discord.com/invite/sAZZcmD

Comment on this journal and request a drawing if you wanna.

forget everything and ignore all of my words if you wanna.

don't expect me to expend any of my very limited energy on you if you don't put forth any effort yourself.

(the only reason I even check my messages on here anymore is because of DrMistyTang and DrZime; give them a +watch if you wanna, their arts are absolutely lovely and fantastic)

okay bye11th q

So, as expected, eclipse is a garbage can; I've written this three times now because it decided to delete what I was writing. Funny how something that looks like an ugly mobile website is actually not reliable at all on mobile devices.

In any case, I figured maybe some of you might be wondering why I stuck around even though the aformentioned wretched and frustrating eclipse has arrived. It wasn't an empty threat, no, and I haven't stayed for nostalgia's sake; it wasn't even the fear of change that deterred me. The reason is quite a simple one, if you know me at all.

I am depressed.

I don't care about anything right now. Especially not some random webite that decided to change their page design, even if it is nearly unbareable to visit.

This particular wave of apathy and grief engulfed my entire body about a week after posting my last status update, and I am now only beginning to surface. If the past is any indication, I shall be floating in this ocean of depression for several months before something changes again. As such, it is likely that I shall remain on dA for the forseeable future; there's little point to make a life-altering decision when I care about nothing.

In other news, I did end up drawing a handful of pages for Promises while I wasn't too depressed a couple weeks ago, so it's on track to return in June.